Contemplating Loss

November 1, 2018

I haven’t posted in a number of months. Those of you who know our work well know that we lost Gabrielle Benson, one of our Elementary Assistant Superintendents, very suddenly on August 20. She died of a pulmonary embolism and it has been a shock to our office and to our system. Gabby was a dedicated Catholic school educator, having taught and led at both the elementary and high school level. Her driving professional passion was the inclusion of students of all needs in Catholic schools, and she was instrumental in helping to move both our schools and archdiocese forward in that regard. Her loss remains a void in our office but we are moving forward with hope that her work will continue to inspire us to do all we can to achieve our vision of growth.

Any time there is loss, it is difficult to stay focused on goals and objectives. As Catholic educators, we rely on our faith to help guide us through times of loss and tragedy. Thus, it is a cruel reality to have the crisis of sexual abuse once again challenging many of our preconceived notions about the clergy, leadership and the Church as a whole. My sense at this point is that much of frustration and anger is directed at the leadership of the church, primarily bishops who made decisions without considering the interests of those who are most vulnerable in our Church. I have also heard many charge hypocrisy in regard to their view that priests would sermonize about specific sins and behaviors of the faithful while they were participating in similar activities themselves. All of this presents serious challenges to those of us who work for the Church in various capacities – teachers, principals, diocesan staff, superintendents, etc…

The first important point to make, and I always worry that this comes off as defensive or as an excuse, is that the Church as a whole has done a tremendous amount of work since 2002 in the area of child protection. I think a reasonable argument can be made that no organization in that time or since has put more protocols and procedures in place to ensure children worship and learn in a safe environment, at least from my work specifically in Los Angeles. The vast majority of cases that are in the news now are from the period before those protocols were in place. So they are important and significant, because they still reflect a serious lapse in leadership, but they also must be understood in context of where we are today in terms of child safety.

I think those of us who lead in the Church can use the history as a leadership lesson on what not to do. One of the leadership lessons that I espouse is to identify your core. The essence of this lesson is that leadership is difficult and challenging in the best of times, and the foundation of leadership is decision making. Leaders have to make hundreds of small (and some big) decisions each day. To decide is to anger some constituents – this is an important part of leadership and decision making that new leaders have to grasp. You will not please everyone with your decisions, and, as the old adage says, if you try to please everyone, you will please no one. So what is key is to identify a core that you refer to when making decisions so that you are consistent and stakeholders understand the motivation behind your decisions. What this engenders over time is respect, which is a much more valuable resource for a leader than being liked.

I bring this concept up because it is the one that has been on my mind as I have seen the stories in this new reporting on the sex abuse crisis. One of the cores that I suggest to principals is “It’s all about the students”. This is a simple concept but I continue to be amazed as an educator how many trials and conflicts arise because of adult issues that have nothing to do with students. So if a principal thinks about students first and foremost as they are making decisions, they will consistently choose a path that will lead in a direction that benefits them. The connection to the current crisis is obvious – if bishops had made decisions years ago with the core belief that their first priority was the protection and defense of young people, different decisions would have been made and much of the current situation would have been avoided. The lesson is that leaders can never put the reputation and interests of the organization over human beings.

Another lesson that I am still processing is about focus and attention during times of upheaval and crisis. To a vastly lesser degree that the current crisis, we deal with this every day in the Department of Catholic Schools. We have a vision of growth rooted in faith formation and academic excellence, and our task is to ensure that we manage and steward the resources we have in the direction of achieving that vision. But every day one or two (or five), issues will pop up that demand our attention. These are not unimportant issues but they do consume a significant amount of time and can get us off track regarding our intentional work on the vision. The daily challenge is to manage these ‘fires’ effectively but efficiently so we can move back to the work in achieving the vision.

I wanted to explain the reason for my lack of posts and my hope is this one will get me back to regular writing and reflection. Please keep us all in your prayers as we navigate this time of sadness and trial. The best way to do so is together.